Townies

12:16 pm: So ping.fm is cool for sending out mass update msgs, but I miss browsing the individual sites as I post...

10:38 pm: Ah, life is good...
Day 2 of using the Mac Pro. I've resolved most of the issues I had on the first day. For example, the MP doesn't come with an Apple remote for Front Row since it doesn't have an IR sensor. One of the first programs I downloaded after booting up was Darwiin Remote. Now I can use a Nintendo Wiimote to control media playback. It's a little annoying to have to open it and connect via bluetooth whenever I wanna watch something from across the room, but it sure beats buying a 3rd party remote when I've already got plenty of Wiimotes. (In fact, one of them is kinda crappy because whenever we play somebody always complains the controller is screwing with their game. So I'll figure out which one that is and dedicate it to Front Row use)

Then I was having problems using my Logitech Quickcam Zoom in place of an iSight. Logitech made an OS X driver for it (Like, 5 years ago) and that only really worked in the stand-alone app. Touching the settings made it crash, too. There's a freeware USB cam driver out there called macam that worked fairly well but I had both that and the Logitech driver going which screwed it up. I merely uninstalled everything and reinstalled. Works great now. There was also the issue with my audio line-in being at the back of my machine. Luckily my webcam also came with a mic built in so that whole thing's pretty much resolved. I also picked up a Tunecaster II FM transmitter so I can play my music and whatnot thru my stereo. No point in buying speakers when I've got a whole system already set up for awesome sound. Still not sure about what I'll do with irc, though.

Just like IM software, I've got friends I stay in touch with over irc. If all I wanted to do was chat, Colliquy would be the answer. But there's also occasional scripting going on (Something I actually wanted to get more into. I'd still like to build a bot sometime) and I don't know if I wanna bother with Snak or one of the handful of other alternatives out there. Nothing's quite as fleshed out as mirc, sadly. I'd also like to run a copy of VMWare Fusion so some Windows apps I like can just be brought in whole hog. Of course, that requires buying Fusion and then a copy of XP. And that requires money. Maybe later. I'm comfortably fitting into OS X and this machine. I can't wait to start the work week with it and see what happens when I'm in a groove and don't have the typical Windows hang-ups slowing me down.

07:16 am: Ah, the fresh smell of an Apple... Mac, that is
I may very well be crazy but Apple computers have a distinct smell. The last Mac I personally owned was a Performa. (I used some of the earlier ones as a kid as well.) I've run into them in labs and studios since and there's something about the way they smell that kicks off some memories. Granted, I don't recall the ones in the last studio I used having much of a scent, but in Pittsburgh I remember a few. One iMac in particular had a very strong, hot smell. I can't tell if it's plastic or rubber or what but it's not something I really noticed on my PCs. But it was enough to ingrain itself as a memory.

So you can obviously tell my new machine's come in and she's a beaut. I've mostly spent my time personalizing it, adjusting things for smoother work flow. I'm looking forward to getting some rest and diving into working with this system once I get moving. I also have plans to move my blog from LJ to the NRP site. I normally try to keep the main page there for news posts and official announcements. But I think a regular, personal blog would help the feeling of the site being alive again - both for readers and myself.

03:16 pm: Hello, my name is Ben, and I'm a Toonhead
Something occurred to me today. I've been trying to figure out where I fit in on the web. And yes, I'm somewhat in the world of webcomics (Though I fell seriously behind on reading the ones I used to keep track of. I probably shouldn't try to follow a 30+ list, especially since I'm somewhat OCD. If I miss so many, I MUST CATCH UP. And that's a problem when you're months behind. The rational portion of my brain refuses to let me waste time on the ones that have gone down hill since I last read them. So I need to reorganize a smaller, tighter list, and just follow it from then on. I'm not even going to bring up my own webcomic efforts right now...) but I think I'm just a cartoon nut in general. And my biggest passion has always been animation.

There's a thriving world of animation bloggers out there, particularly on Blogger. I ran into John K's blog some time ago and I knew about the Toonzone forums long before that. There are a number of folks, like me, who can recognize specific animators for each scene in a Looney Tune. Or who memorize all sorts of obscure facts about anyone from the Golden Age. I consider myself an animator though I've never had the patience to layout a full project by myself and stick with it. Drawing comics seemed the easier route to go online because a couple hundred drawings in animation is only a few seconds while it's an entire book in comics. Unfortunately comics also require more detail - something I'm always shy of adding.

I need to embrace my fanboy roots a little better. I've been struggling to think who my audience is as I develop creatively and I should have come to the simple realization that the people who are going to think like me think like me. Meaning I should just be blogging about the stupid stuff I love and like minded folk will stumble upon it. I need to let go of the notion that plagues me. Sometimes I think I can be the only person in the world who cares about something, then I go on the internet and see people more obsessive than I.

10:36 pm: Managing studio space
I've been shuffling studio space around lately in three different capacities: physical, digital, and mental. The lighting in here needs to be replaced because I find myself turning on 3 separate lamps to get the illumination I want. I've also hauled my busted futon out but left an air mattress down here for the time being. I want a space to lay back but if it's too obvious it encroaches on my mental space and I find myself wanting to nap. (Which is why I had a futon in the first place and could disguise it as a couch when I wanted to ignore it. Now I can't really do that.) I'm also waiting on my new machine and software to arrive. As I mentioned in the previous post, I'm upgrading my system and switching platforms. This also goes back to mental as I know I relax more in OS X than I do in Windows. Multitasking will be better and things will just run smoother. Not to mention I've basically been fighting my laptop every time I attempt to produce something on it anymore. It all boils down to this thing being a portable instead of a beefy work station. It's a kick ass portable, I'll certainly give it that. But now that I'm not running back and forth between studios carrying projects on external drives and dvds, I can use something sturdy. And when I think about it, the machines I used in college were fairly beefy and my laptop was mostly an overtime station to work within a few feet from my bed should I no longer be able to see straight and collapse. I recall a prof telling me they weren't even dual-core machines. And yes, I did occasionally wax poetic about my laptop back in my dorm. But that was mainly because it was in my room, across from my bed, and I would be free to work naked if I felt like it without the hassle of somebody calling dibs on my station when I went to raid the vending machines because we're in a crunch. I remember this was in the big Mac-ify Windows machines to look like OS X craze of 2004 and I used Objectbar to mimic the Finder bar. Hiding the task bar and auto-hiding the new finder gave me a very pleasant empty screen. Egad, was it really that long ago? Anyway, I've slugged along since then. Here's hoping a faster, better machine will increase my output and reduce the rigmarole I run into every day when I'm trying to work. Because honestly it feels like I'm hitting a brick wall every time I sit down to create and it's hard to get up to the same running speed again while you're still battered and bruised, looking for your missing teeth.

07:36 am: So I ordered a refurbished Mac Pro the other night...
2.8GHz 8-core, to be exact. Apple plays it sneaky with their refurbished MPs. There's no "current generation" or "previous generation" labeling going on there as there is with the iMacs. You have to pay attention to the specs so you know what exactly it is you're ordering. I know stuff in the refurb section could have extra built to order components depending on where it came from, but lets be real here. Offering a machine with 2 dual-core 2.66GHz is not the same as offering one with a quad-core 2.8. And the one that can only go up to 2TB of storage with the 4 HD bays is not the same as the current models that go up to 4TB. I'll take the .2GHz hit from a 3GHz unit if it means I can double the potential RAM and HD space later. Hell, when those machines came out people were saying they were too expensive in comparison with the cheaper 2.66GHz versions.

Originally I'd planned on getting an iMac since I wanted to get a copy of Adobe Creative Suite 3 Web Premium as well. Once I told my mom about my plans she offered to help me out on the software if it'd enable me to buy the computer I really wanted. Considering how upgradable the MP is in compared to the iMac, it's certainly the longer term investment and a better use of the funds. There's a few bummers with getting a tower - no built in iSight, which doesn't bother me much since I already have a webcam, I just wouldn't mind getting one free considering what I paid. There's also no IR sensor so no Apple Remote, making viewing Front Row a pain. I'm looking into using a Wiimote to handle it via bluetooth since hopefully it won't require anything special. Another display would have been nice but honestly bouncing back and forth between my laptop and cinema displays gets old. I find myself mostly using one unless I'm crazy multitasking - something I don't attempt too often with this laptop. Now if I had a cintiq or something that'd be a different story all together. But one display will be fine, especially now that Leopard has virtual desktops. I tried playing around with the XP Powertoy that does something similar and it felt rather weird on a dual display. I'm sure I'd get used to doing keyboard shortcuts when I'm forced to use my screen real estate effectively.

02:01 pm: So I think I'm getting a Mac Pro this weekend - maybe
This laptop is not a horrible machine. Really, if all I used it for was web browsing, listening to music, and the occasional Photoshop job, it'd probably be awesome. But as I've moved my work into an office setting I've realized how under-powered it is. I'm no longer running from place to place and, even if I were, I could use my local network now to manage files. I bought a dock for it some time ago to give it the ports of a full desktop and I've wired all sorts of things into it. Now I think it's time to put this thing upstairs where it belongs and let a real desktop fill it's duties.

I miss OS X. It's a relaxing system to use and Leopard looks like a very nice revision of it. I'm using my cinema display as a dual currently but I don't really ping pong between them as much as I should. (Especially since this thing is superior to my Inspiron's display) I've played with multiple desktops in XP and Spaces should serve me well on the new machine. And is it silly of me to think I'm going to get some decent usage out of the To-Dos and iCal? Because managing such things in Windows has never really worked for me. I've found some decent freeware to do it but it's too much of a hassle on the day to day to use it. Not to mention how gaudy it all looks. I'm looking forward to getting my new system and hopefully upgrading it as time passes. I haven't had a tower in years but I'm excited about the MP.

09:28 am: Goal Setting
I've been sick lately (I'm blaming the crappy weather with it's ups and downs) but I want to get work done. Just a matter of being drained, for the most part. Anyway, today I want to focus on goal setting. This has been frustrating me because I don't think I have an immediate goal layout. What I mean is I have ideas on what I want to be doing/accomplishing in the long term, just no plan for what I should be doing day to day or even week to week to bring myself closer to obtaining them. I have this vision in my head of where I want my studio to be 5-10 years down the road. Yet that's not going to come to pass unless I get my act together in the year to year scheme of things. I'm never going to be able to afford sharing studio space with other artists until I can afford to rent some outside of my house by myself, for example. I'm surprisingly good at budgeting. I should map out what my ideal setup is going to be, figure out the setup and operational costs involved, then scale back.

I'm getting a new computer this year, though it's probably not going to be as high-end and upgradeable as I'd like. It should afford me to have a decently powered desktop art machine, however, as well as the software I plan on running with it. Then, maybe a couple years later, I can upgrade to the more professional model and sell the one I'm buying now to recoup most of that investment. I can think of a few things I'd like to pick up over time. I want a Mac Pro so it'll be expandable, a good large-size scanner would be nice, (Even though I won't have room for one until I move out. Perhaps I should move my modified futon out of the studio proper and dedicate more of the space to work supplies... that'd keep me from wanting to nap while I'm in here. I'd consider this more "work" space and less "resting" space. I need to think about this more seriously. This is why writing this stuff out is so important and cathartic - I didn't even consider moving the futon and utilizing it's space for something else until just now.) a cintiq would also be nice eventually but I'd rather upgrade my analogue equipment before splurging on that.

I'd like to replace my drafting table with a more solid animation desk. The one I have now is damn functional for the ~$79 I spent on it, but I've worked at an animation desk before. It improves my work output considerably as well as my enthusiasm for what I'm drawing. Artists are superstitiously loyal to equipment that works best for them and a good animation desk is no exception for me. If I had one of my own I'd go so far as to hug it. I can't say I've ever felt as strongly for a piece of furniture as I have for an animation desk, but there you go. The problem is, getting one of those is a lot like switching platforms on the digital end. Just the desk itself is going to be expensive. Then there's the disc and backlight, which I would do totally use even if I was only drawing comics instead of animating.

Then there's the matter of actual office space. This room I moved into in the basement is wonderful. For the single artist working on his own projects I couldn't ask for a nicer available room in my own house. But my eventual goal is to move out of the house and share a studio with people. This office is great but a full-on studio would be even better. Something were we could each have our own individual work area, but still be able to communicate to each other (I'm thinking break a bigger room up into cubicles so someone could just look up if they want to talk to somebody.) and then a common area with white/cork boards to walk thru and discuss group projects on. That's where I want to be down the line. Now I just need to figure out how to grow properly so I can get there.

11:37 pm: Virtualizin'
So I spent the day cleaning my desktop, basically macifying it. (And I'm not talking about that craze that popped up in 2004 where everybody was downloading a dock and switching their icons up - though I would probably pay for Objectbar if I kept this laptop as my primary machine) I've hidden the icons and I downloaded Microsoft Virtual Desktop Manager. It'd be a little nicer if active windows didn't bleed onto all the desktops, i.e. I want my IMs to stay on one desktop instead of popping onto the one I'm using. I've tried a few others. I heard you're supposed to be able to drag objects with virtuawin but I didn't see a nice preview option for it like I did with MSVDM. Might have been a module I didn't install. Since I've got 2 monitors going I don't exactly need the virtualization, but it'll come in handy when I retire this machine to upstairs use and leave the second screen down here in the studio.

10:59 pm: I'm just disgusted
Some time ago I converted a room in the basement that we stored Christmas decorations in into a studio/office. I remember the feeling of having a space dedicated solely to my work. And I've got to say it is a really bitchin' thing to have. I have my drawing desk, my bookshelf of reference material, my computer desk, my stereo, a taboret of art supplies, a full length mirror for posing, and a futon, all with a decent amount of room to stand up and move around in. But tonight I look and it feels so cluttered up. I need to vacuum, to tuck wires away and to clean. My futon's busted and I need to figure out a course of action and take it. Just having the frame and mat sitting there looks lazy and it provides next to no real comfort now. And most importantly I need to get my ass to work. I need to get up in the morning, get down here, and make actual progress on these projects in my head. Being self-employed makes me my own employee and right now the boss is pissed. There's office stuff I should be doing. I should be studying maps and deciding on an exact location for that story I'm going to be illustrating soon. I should be deciding on a format and size for the original art.

It's frustrating to impose deadlines on yourself. The first day rocks and every thing's wonderful. Then you wake up the next morning and turn the alarm off before you get a chance to realize what they hell you're doing. I'm conscious enough to know I should be getting up, yet at the same time I'm watching somebody else make the stupid mistake of going back to bed. It's a trance state and the only way to get beyond it is to force it on myself. I'm setting my alarms early and I'm cranking them up and I'm putting them across the room and hiding them under the bed. I have to be woken up before I give myself the chance to give up. It's not going to be pleasant but I know if I can do it regularly for several days in a row, I can do it for longer. It's that stupid hump that I'm having trouble getting over.

Speaking of deadlines and humps - I need to set real deadlines. Getting it finished when I get it finished results in so much time wasted. I know if I say to other people, "I'll have it for you by tomorrow," I'll damn well have it by tomorrow. Something about a tangible date reactivates my brain. When I was a student I could get things done with this unexplainable drive. And it was because I had no other choice. Of course, the problem with working for yourself is you don't force yourself like that because you hate anybody imposing on you, even yourself. But in the end it's true. I have to be hard on myself or I'm going to spend my days sleeping late and not living up to my potential.

Tomorrow I'm cleaning the studio. After that I need to decide on story and location details. Then I'm diving into production. I've got character designs to figure out and whatnot, still, but I'll deal with that later. I need to start drawing physical pages. My mind's stuck in the planning stages and I need to break out of that if I'm going to get anything done. I also need a new computer. I'm buying an iMac when they update, which will hopefully be within the next couple weeks. Luckily this project is old school and on paper. I'll deal with scanning pages in, laying out the site, and all the other digital crap after I have something to work with.

I need to start each day with a checklist of things that must be accomplished before I leave. I'm sick of telling myself "I'll get to it later." When I get an iMac I plan on getting a studio cam set up to broadcast my work day streaming live. Why? Because it'll force me to get a routine. And maybe viewers will like it, too, I dunno. I know Kyle and I will be working together on a project and podcasting together once I get the new machine. I haven't started it yet chiefly because this laptop is so underpowered.

11:01 pm: I think my PC knows it's being replaced soon...
I'm not sure what the deal is lately but my laptop has been buggering up this way and that. This machine's days are numbered as I wait for the proper timing to buy a Mac. (I'm waiting until sometime in March to see if the iMacs upgrade any. I know it was way too long before they got the upgrades in the summer, but those were largely cosmetic. Now that the Mac Pro has been updated, I'm curious as to what will get the next bump. I know the iMac's innards are supposed to be the same as the Macbook Pro's, which leads me to believe the two should see revisions around the same time. But I'm not waiting for a mid-summer upgrade to wait on certain processors some folks want to hold out for. I can't afford the highest of high-end machines, otherwise I'd be looking at a mac Pro already, so I doubt I'm going to see much improvement in my price range by then.) I really want to have a mighty office machine. If I could, I'd buy a Mac Pro, but I also need to buy CS3 since I'm switching platforms. The hodgepodge of Windows software I have now is looking a little long in the tooth, anyway, so I'm only really complaining about the price. An iMac might not have the upgrade/expandability of a Mac Pro, but it's still a decent office computer for the studio, especially since I'm on a budget. I'm looking forward to Leopard. I use iTunes all the time down here and my iPod when I'm upstairs. I'm running the Safari beta right now because Firefox has been spiking my CPU usage lately for some reason. I'll investigate that later. I'm just looking forward to retiring this computer to light browsing/writing and other such things a laptop should be used for while a true desktop comes in and takes care of business.

03:07 pm: To quote Elton John, Saturday! Saturday!
      So it's the weekend and all I feel like doing today is laying back and reading comics. I've got the collected Bone, Strangers in Paradise Pocket Book 2, (only because I couldn't find Pocket Book 1 at my local Barnes and Noble) Making Comics, and The Complete Idiot's Guide to Making A Graphic Novel sitting on my bookshelf as I've been flipping through all of them at different paces. The first two I'm mostly looking at with an artist's eye, trying to soak up the approach and spew some of it back in my own works later. The other two I analyze more in the part of my brain that makes grocery lists. The info is more up front with them and the art is mostly to reinforce points. But it looks like I'm going to have to haul my collection upstairs to do the laying back part. My futon is FUBAR-ed. I could blame it on the cheap metal it's made from but I'm sure it's also equal parts of my fat self plopping down on it too much. The seat end of it when it's sat up correctly is bent and shattered as though Fat Albert himself popped a squat on it. Luckily my iPod is upstairs connected to my radio I use for a speaker. It's a superior rest but I miss being able to lay down in my studio. Granted I should really only be in here when I'm up and working but I love being able to lay back when I'm tired. My dad and I are going to have to weld that thing back together once he's done being sick. (I say that like I'm going to be doing any actual welding. In reality I'm just going to make sure he doesn't assemble it into some sort of abstract sculpture that, while beautiful, is totally uncomfortable to my tukis.) Maybe I'll pour over some of the Calvin & Hobbes books I have up there, too.

02:14 pm: A blog post of self discovery
      So I woke up with a headache but otherwise feeling rather good today. This is a direct turnabout from when I went to sleep. I was up most of the night, my mind jittery, unable to focus, feeling frustrated, so anxious for sleep to finally come and wash my foul mood away. I caught Pulp Fiction while I sat up, (I actually enjoy Tarantino films quite a bit, aside from how they always appear to scream, "No, really! I'm cool!" I've learned an appreciation for B-movies and that's what they always feel like they want to be, except they probably too much success. So as to why I tracked down a copy of Reservoir Dogs but never went out of my way to see PF... maybe too many people thought it was hip at the time and that kept me disinterested. Not to say I think I'm too cool to enjoy what the crowds enjoy but it goes with my personality. I like to go to restaurants or stores in time to beat the crowds because they always feel like a mindless mob, flocking to the latest attention-grabber. Granted, sometimes the mob does find something worth flocking to, but in general mob mentality and order is what gets people lynched and Britney Spears videos on TRL. I'd much rather enjoy things on my own terms and time.) and today I feel somewhat like Samuel L. Jackson's character as he sat in the diner. I'm having what alcoholics call a moment of clarity.

As I've gotten older I've recognized things about myself and my own habits. Some of them are quite neurotic and some of them are quite admirable. For starters, though I don't put much weight in horoscopes, I find I fit the Capricorn profile rather well. I can be meticulous and calculating at times. Often the only way I can understand a situation is to step outside of it, analyze it, pick it apart until it's in manageable chunks to which I can methodically approach. In some ways this goes against my personal desires. I want to be a creative person - I've set myself up as a visual artist, in fact - while my instincts tell me I'm calculative. I enjoy art and find nothing more rewarding than looking at a finished work and admiring it's beauty as well as my accomplishment. However, I've realized I'm not naturally a visual person. Luckily I am still fairly creative, just coming up short in the particular faculties I want to use. Writing comes somewhat easily to me and I have the discipline to memorize rules and to correct errors. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. Writing (both coming up with ideas and the quality of their execution) is roughly 90% of the heavy lifting when it comes to being creative. But the art is also important in that execution. I don't draw enough. I limit myself to drawing when I have to instead of when I should - which is on a daily basis. I need to get faster at drawing, I need to get more comfortable at drawing, I need to get more natural at drawing. And it really is a matter of drawing enough. It may very well be like riding a bicycle. You could possibly never forget how to draw. But just as your muscles can cramp from not riding in too long, so can your creative muscles seize up when not properly flexed.

I need to draw more. I also need to recognize my own abilities and play to my strengths more. This also means recognizing my weaknesses and improving on them. Right now my biggest personal hurdle is the hump. Be it that day in the week when I just don't feel like doing anything, or the obstruction in my day that gets me frustrated and unable to concentrate. I need to be able to work straight through the day uninterrupted and determined. If I give into minor distraction it's self-defeating. Too many times do I say, "Oh, I'll get back to it after this one time..." and the truth is it's never just that one time. And an even bigger truth is I'm not going to force myself to do what's hard. How many people never go to the gym because it's a matter of willpower to get up in the morning and go? If I left things up to my natural cravings to do them I'd never get jack done. I'd sleep in every day and dust would pile on my drawing board. That terrifies me. Because, even though I said I don't put much stock into horoscopes, one thing that's upset me is a quote I read somewhere. "There has never been a Capricorn of any importance." When I stop to think about it I keep finding reasons that can be true. How I'll spend forever scratching away, working at something, but to what end?

I've been trying to improve as a person. I hate seeing myself as the wormy guy critiquing and analyzing while other people find success by just going out there and doing things. I think my mother's crazy at times but truth be told she's probably too much like myself. Set in her ways, not caring if her plans please anybody else - which I'm starting to find really constricting. To what end do I want to live? By what measures do I want to achieve success? Do I seek to get a response from other people towards my work? How do I get other people interested in it? I genuinely have trouble thinking of how to approach other people with my work. I need to recognize that my work has value and it doesn't have to be adulterated in order for others to appreciate it.

I also have to deal with my anxiety. I've had panic attacks before and lately I've experienced my frustrations as an emotional net that's tossed over me. I'm unable to move save within it's confines. And like a caught animal I struggle. I feel my blood boil and I become consumed with escaping my imprisonment. Unfortunately it's a prison of the mind. Last night I was screaming into a pillow trying to quiet my mind. That's what happens when I let that crap get bottled up. I don't want to be rude or come off as such during my daily life and after awhile it builds up in my brain. It's not rage, really. I'm not naturally an angry person. But I do feel taken advantage of, under-appreciated, and outright ignored by various people. And what kind of person do I want to be? I'd like these frustrations and anxieties to pass. The day after I'm usually more calm and collected (as evidenced by today) but I need to find a better valve for these feelings. I don't want to blow up at things like my temper would have me do. I realized long ago that being hot-headed was dangerous. People today wouldn't imagine I have a temper. When I was younger I used to throw fits. Today I see that as immature and belittling to myself. However, it's human nature to get upset when you feel you've been wronged. I just wish I could let those feelings go at times. I'd rather live and enjoy life. If my emotions were as methodical as I am, well, life would be much easier.

10:19 am: *smashes head against wall*
      Not sure what my problem is today. I know I need to get back to drawing today but I feel more like writing. Not writing by hand, though. Scratching letters out with a pen or pencil takes too long and I like the feeling of punching out keys. It's faster and I feel I can be more direct. Of course, I've come to realize I strongly dislike all apps I've tried to use to write. Invariably they all feel like Wordpad all gussied up. Doll up the page as much as you want, if I see that ruler on top of the screen to measure margins again I'm going to scream. Maybe I'm just sick of Windows. That could be why I'm taking a liking to writing in web apps like Twitter or LJ or posting from Wordpress. The web interface does feel a little more fluid to writing. Maybe it's the lame web 2.0, I don't know. I actually have a LJ client but I find I'm more comfortable scribing posts over the browser. Downside of web-based authoring is I don't want to post my thoughts on the web. I want something where I can cram my private thoughts and keep them private. They're bouncing around in my head and my conscious thoughts are having trouble wrestling them to the ground and stuffing them under the bed, so to speak. Most comfortable Windows writing app I've used so far was Keynote, no relation to the Mac replacement for Powerpoint. Really it's not much more than an inflated Wordpad, using a tree structure to organize things. I've tried scripting with it before and it always felt like writing school papers.

02:30 pm:       *Yawn, scratch* Ok, so, lets talk about 2008. I have goals I want to achieve. I want to start posting comics on the web again. Specifically a comic I've had in my head for awhile now. Towniescomics.com and GrimAndSaddam.com are both good properties I enjoy writing and drawing. However, my head and my skill aren't in the right place to continue them right now.

Townies, for example, is bloated. It's too hard for new readers to dive in and follow. And I seriously want to straighten it out for my own sake. I'm considering pulling the archives down and making a fresh start with things I like. I also need to pick a layout I can feel comfortable with. Four panels is too restricting but I do want to have some limitations so I know what I'm shooting for. All this is too much for now. I've tried sitting down to think about it and I just keep coming up with things to put into the graphic novel.

G&S is fun because I can let loose with it and tell whatever jokes I want without fear of repercussions. But the style's evolving and I need to settle on one so I'm not spending countless hours on gag strips while more serious endeavors get short changed. Basically I want to tell a story first before I jump into random gags again.

I'm looking forward to the graphic novel project. I'm going to try old schooling it. I've been practicing inking techniques and I'm considering hand lettering. I'm debating whether to post concepts for it or not. Kinda doubtful as I want this thing to stand by itself and I don't want people getting sick of it before it comes out.

09:05 am: Am I getting too old for Warped Tour?
I've been going to Warped since probably... '99? I'm probably fudging dates but the only year I remember missing was '04 because I was in PA and entrenched in projects. In recent years I've found it considerably expensive and the bill lacking in bands I actually like. My buddy Kyle believes there's a 3 year cycle where the bands suck for 2 years and then there's an awesome lineup. If that's true, I might just skip next year. Last year was good, but that could be because we ended up going to Detroit and seeing the bands that never play Ohio. (I'm looking at you, Living End.) So this year I went for Bad Religion. Tiger Army was good, though I've not followed them for very long so I wouldn't front the cost of the entire show on seeing them, especially for a Warped-length set. Those are akin to your friend sharing his headphones with you on the bus. You get a hit off each band but I'd really rather see half that number of bands twice as long.

There was also the rain delay. Oh yes, that's right, I went to the Cleveland show. The Unseen were maybe 2 songs short of finishing their set and I started feeling drops. I would have enjoyed a nice mist but they started getting big, cold, and coming down hard. We took refuge at the Monster energy drink stand, which was good for getting something to drink but horrible for shelter. They let us in after hail started pelting us but I think the next time we get caught in a storm I'm claiming a tent. We didn't miss too much because of it, except for the Toasters, who I kinda wanted to see. For a fairly weak lineup they certainly coulda helped.

Then Sunday we went to the Dublin Irish Festival to see Flogging Molly. I remember seeing them twice at Warped before they blew up. The first time they played was when everybody in the audience went on a beer run. My bro and I (This was back when he actually made it to Warped) could easily walk up to the front of the stage. The second year they had a bigger but still relatively small crowd. The 3rd time Kyle and his bro Kent came along and I was telling them how much they'd like 'Molly. I think the Dropkick Murphys had just put out Sing Loud Sing Proud so the whole Irish punk thing was kicking into gear. The last time I saw them was in Columbus when they were playing alongside the Mighty Mighty Bosstones. That was a great show because we went down the road to the Distillery to see the Slackers afterwards. Good times indeed. Irish fest was fun. They freaked out when it stormed a little, but after Warped I didn't care about a little rain, especially with an umbrella this time. I'm about 50-25% Irish, depending on how you slice me, which is probably a higher precentage than most of the folks there. But that's good, considering it's more like a themed county fair. Flogging Molly, of course, was awesome, though the fest made it a big deal not to have any moshing. Their sound system was also a little louder than it needed to be but it beat being too quiet.

In other news, Apple rolled out the new iMacs Tues. I've been expecting them to release before Leopard comes out and it was nice of them to bring out iLife '08, too. I'll still wait until Oct. to buy one, as there's no sense in paying extra for a new OS just 'cause. I'm considering my wireless options as I'd like to keep both the Dell and the incoming desktop running for awhile. Might move the laptop upstairs so I'm debating a wireless setup. The $99 version sounds interesting for hooking my stereo up with Airtunes and other such but I'm concerned the signal might not be strong enough. I'm thinking I'll put Damien, my iTunes external drive, on it so the two machines can share it and I'm not sure if an Airport Extreme Base Station is worth the hefty price or not. Considering my stereo is right next to my desk anyway, I might just connect it with a line-out so it'll function as a full speaker setup and not just iTunes. This is all stuff to think about.

08:31 am: So on the weekend...
I accidentally did something that nuked the bookmarks and bookmarklets in Firefox. Lucky for me, my webcomics links all got imported to Safari (And on Delicious, but I prefer having them all load in the browser) so I'm apparently going full hog on my attempts to getting used to Safari 3. It still displays broken image links because my connection sucks right now, but at least it doesn't freeze things up as long as Firefox did. That said, FF has a number of add-ons and shortcuts I'll probably keep using for articles. Not to mention I have to resize Safari everytime I want it full screen on my second monitor, which is a pain.

The weekend's tomorrow and I'm not quite sure how to handle it. I usually lazy up over those two days. But doing that keeps me from getting up properly on Monday. Plus I've been trying to be a lil more proactive and workout. So I might sleep in one morning and exercise the other. Or maybe vice versa. I'm not sure yet.

08:23 am: I must read too many comics
Or, at least too many for my connection to handle. I'm unsure which upsets me more. There are times when my internet goes out for a long stretch or blinks off and on frequently. Lately it's been acting like a complete wuss and kicking off when I do something like opening my webcomic bookmarks. And I'm not talking entirely off, either. Just enough to close down an IM program or make half the bookmarks broken image tags. It's frustrating that this is supposed to be some premium thing over dial-up. At least when I used the phone line things would stay on. Granted, I'd still get broken image tags and lag all over the place, but the connection over all was stable. What possible benefit to data transfer can exist from clamping off my programs long enough to get an error? It's more costly in productiveness than it ever could be for anything else. And I know it's just the crappy connection because it's worked FINE before. All my bookmarks loaded quickly and without costing me any other program. So the choke up is somewhere on the ISP's end. Grr...

12:28 am: *yawn*
Last night I crashed around 6, 6:30 and woke up at 3. I plopped down on my bed to try and sleep until my alarm went off at 7. I could almost hear it laughing at me as I eventually gave up and watched Star Trek until it was time for a shower. I worked until about noon, when I ended up napping rather than grabbing lunch. Had chili for dinner, most likely going to eat all of that during the day tomorrow. I wish I could find a way to stay alert after lunch. Having a full stomach always makes me sleepy.

12:42 am: The Venture Bros. Season Two
Yeah, that's right - I went out and bought the second season DVD set after finishing the first. It's a little different in direction. Enemies seem to have a habit of sitting down for a smoke together more often, that sort of thing. I like where the story's progressing. It's nice there's an over-arching plot and I really appreciate the writing. There's an entire episode that's only the second half of a two-parter. The B plot becomes the main story and the A plot is little more than random insanity. Considering the show's picked up for 2 more seasons, I'm looking forward to seeing where it's going from here.

So the weekend's starting and I'd like to take a vacation or something. I need to get away for a bit because this place is driving me crazy. I'm thinking I need to hop in my car and drive off somewhere. Don't really have anywhere specific to go to but a change of scenery would do me wonders.